Posted November 14, 2008

UFC

P'wned in the P'ctagon: 5 Celebs We'd Like to See Demolished

Here are 5 celebs we think would be good punching bags in the cage. You know, to keep in shape between actual fights.

 

5. Dana Carvey

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With his contortionist comedy, this impressionista kept us laughing through the '80s and early '90s (Way!). But this guy clearly ran out of gas. Being the other guy named Dana just doesn't cut it in the 21st century and, like the Highlander, there can only be one.

4. Amy Winehouse

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I know. It's obvious. She's a girl. And she can't stand up. But never in the history of unwarranted celebrity has someone more deserved to get the absolute sh*t kicked out of her and told to wake the f*ck up.

3. Andy Dick

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Splitting his time between being super annoying and super drunk, he is one of those guys that when you were in high school, you rooted for the bully -- unapologetically.

 

2. Dane Cook

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Fail. What a jerk-off. Aim for the face, so that when he wakes up from his pummeling, his "Hollywood good looks" will be gone. At least that way something involving him will finally be funny.

1. Carrot Top

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This was a tough one, but with Gallagher's refusal to leave his giant mallet at home, Carrot Top became the obvious choice from "Team Prop-Comic" to enter to Octagon for combat--and he's a local in Vegas. These guys deserve to have their asses kicked. Besides, his recent bodybuilding and muscular appearance will at least trick some audience members into thinking he actually could stand a chance and, while small, create some sort of market.

Honorable Mention: Matt Lauer. Needs no explanation.

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8 Comments
  • NJboi82's Profile
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    1. NJboi82 Posted on Nov 26 '08 at 9:11 PM

    this is the dumbest blog ive ever seen! Dane Cook is the most hilarious comedian out there right now!! yeah the other guys on the list arent very funny but Dane's fame speaks for itself. he went from stand up shows and making awesome comedy cd's to becoming a big movie star that gets paid millions per role to make out with the hottest actresses alive today!! LUCKY BASTARD!!

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  • Grapthar's Hammer's Profile
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    2. Grapthar's Hammer Posted on Dec 1 '08 at 6:17 PM

    I'm with NJboi82.......just saw his special Thanksgiving weekend and laughed my a-- off. Just because he's not that popular with the High School croud....{ my kids included } who else out there can support a 1 1/2-2 hour special that me laugh t'ill I was horse. People were falling out of their seats laughing!

    HERE IS ONE FOR YOU........DUSTIN DIAMOND..{ screech }...so full of himself that he needs to be pummeled by Tank Abbott. { see: old fat guys of the UFC }

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  • Submission07's Profile
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    3. Submission07 Posted on Dec 3 '08 at 11:29 AM

    Yea Dustin Diamond needs to be up there along with Jonah Hill who starred in Superbad. Jonah is hilarious but I'd love to see him get his ass beat lol.



    And I agree with the 2 of you. Dane Cook shouldn't be up there

    SuFi!

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  • TheDemonking's Profile
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    4. TheDemonking Posted on Dec 5 '08 at 2:31 PM

    I agree Dane Cook is hilarious and should be replaced with tom cruise and I'm not so sure dana carvey should be up there i rather see carlos mencia i think he's an idiot

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  • JOTD's Profile
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    5. JOTD Posted on Dec 6 '08 at 7:05 AM

    Yeah, WTF is your beef with Dane Cook? He's f!@#$%^ funny. Put Keith Olbermann up there and the entire NBC football crew.

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  • axemurderer8's Profile
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    6. axemurderer8 Posted on Dec 7 '08 at 12:09 AM

    Are you guys kidding? Dane Cook is NOT funny what so ever and is one of the biggest D-bags in hollywood. He's popular for being one of the few good looking comedians out there, and that's it. Have you seen his stand up? It sucks big time! It's one of the most unfunny things I've ever seen. Dane Cook and Carlos Mencia should not ever try and be funny...EVER!

    I have spoken!

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  • TheDemonking's Profile
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    7. TheDemonking Posted on Dec 11 '08 at 8:28 PM

    Actually i have and i found it funny granted it isn't hard to make me laugh b/c i enjoy laughing. laughing is a good thing and should be done whenever possible. Though i must admit lewis black is way funnier than Dane Cook. And the reason i laugh at dane cook is b/c i can relate to what he is talking about b/c i done or thought about doing thise things

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  • whammersbach's Profile
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    8. whammersbach Posted on Dec 29 '08 at 11:10 PM

    grapthar"youre with njboi82" i feel i should notify authorities around you. apparently the young new jersey boys and their brand of "humor" are you "croud". stop having kids.

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